


Cousin Sarah

by PaintmeSilver



Series: Family [2]
Category: Harry Potter - Fandom, Labyrinth (1986)
Genre: F/M, Hermionescrazyfamily, crackish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-07
Updated: 2016-11-15
Packaged: 2018-05-25 05:58:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6183349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PaintmeSilver/pseuds/PaintmeSilver
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Visiting Sarah after visiting Hermione's Uncle Harvey should be less stressful right? Well that is the idea...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Harry noticed the cute cottage style house painted a cheerful blue with white shutters, the white picket fence with the little gate leading to the brick walkway and the weeping cherry tree with surrounding gardens first. It was homey and sweet, generally what most people thought of when one mentioned the “American Dream.” Harry also noticed that that phrase was always in capitals and fallowed by quotes along with either a sarcastic eye roll or a wistful sigh. It was normal, but not in the way that the Dursley's had tried to force normal. It was normal in the way that it was domestic. He noticed all of these things and quite possibly could have been entirely at ease except for the noise. Or rather the complete lack of noise and the hair rising feeling of many eyes suddenly focused directly on them.  


“Hermione.” Harry tried to keep his voice as level as possible.  


“Yes Dear?” She rummaged around in her hand bag, not paying attention to him.  


“Are we being watched?” He had to clamp down on the urge to look around, wand at the ready and instead pulled their bags out of the boot. Whoever had given Hermione an American driver’s license needed to seriously re-evaluate their standards. She had almost hit five different people just on the way over here. Fact was she was a good driver in the UK but put her on the right hand side of the road and she seemed to lose all of her ability’s.  


“We are. Welcome to the American suburbs. Everyone is in everyone else’s business.” She shut her door with her hip checking her face in the pocket mirror. “And it’s the goblins.” Harry shut the boot harder than he meant to, a little alarmed.  


“Goblins?”  


“Oh not the banking kind, nobody owes money.” She took her bag from him and made her way up to the gate.  


“Hermione we talked about this.” Harry said catching up to her “You agreed to explain the more unusual aspects of your family members before I met them so I wouldn’t end up insulting anyone like I did your Uncle Harvey.”  


“What makes you think that the Goblins are attached to my family?” She looked too innocent.  


“That look doesn’t work on me, I taught you that look.”  


“Oh fine. You remember from Binn’s class that there are different breeds of Goblins?”  


“No, but for the sake of the conversation let’s say I do.” Hermione gave him a mildly disgusted look.  


“Well the ones watching us are from the Underground.” She said waiting for a positive or blank response. Harry frowned.  


“Wait, isn’t that breed under the rule of the Goblin King?”  


“Yes.”  


“Hermione aren’t those ones the childnappers?” Harry lowered his voice to a whisper.  


“Generally, yes. They take bad children and the ones who’ve been wished away.”  


“That’s right. I was always temped to with Draco away or Dudley.” Harry said nodding, although he was slightly concerned with their presence.  


“That’s funny I tried to wish Ron away when we broke up. I figured that he was enough of a child that they would take him. It didn’t work, but I did put me back into better contact with Sarah.”  


“How?” Harry asked almost afraid of the answer. He was glad to be on this adventure with her but, he was wishing more and more as this trip continued that he could have managed to talk her into one of Caribbean islands. It might have actually turned out to be less stressful and they both could have found beautiful men to have a sundrenched fling with.  


“Oh well, when Sarah was fifteen or so she may have in a fit of teenage temper wished her brother away. She ran the labyrinth and won, however in the process it seems that she stole that heart of the fairy king that rules the goblins, and so when she came of age in the mortal realm, he asked for her hand.”  


“Seriously?” This was sounding more and more like a fairy tale or a Hollywood movie.  


“The wedding was a lovely affair, actually both of them were. They got married in both realms you see. I was invited and was able to go to both. Now Toby, Sarah’s brother the one she won back, will be going to Hogwarts come September.” Harry felt dizzy Cousin Sarah was the Goblin Queen, it suddenly made perfect sense why Hermione was able to have just a few words with the head of the bank and the whole dragon thing was forgotten.  


Harry looked to the house again, an unearthly man with a shock of blond hair opened the front door, a wild smile and too sharp teeth greeted them. Every hair on Harry’s neck stood up and he felt his magic wrap tightly around him.  


“Calm down. He’s just sussing you out.” Hermione hissed.  


“A little warning would have been nice.” Harry snapped back  


“Oh Hush.”  


“It’s rude. I don’t go poking people with my magic.”  


“Sometimes you’re just so stuffy Harry.” She laughed at the affronted look he gave her.  


"We should have gone to the Caribbean."  


“I promise no other relatives are married to Goblin Kings.”  


“Wait we’re meeting more relatives?” Hermione just smiled at him and reached for the glass storm door. “Hermione!”


	2. After Dinner

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I don't usually do this. Once I have a one shot I tend to leave it alone. Even if it is in a series, but I wasn't quite satisfied with the first part of Sarah's story. I mean, I usually have character interaction in cross overs. So my brain cooked this little ditty up. Hope you all enjoy.

            Dinner was different; yes different was a good word. Another good word? Leaving. As in Dinner was different, but we really need to be leaving. Was Hermione picking up on these despite telepathic signals Harry was sending? Not a chance. She was too busy catching up on the family gossip. Harry sighed and turned back to his coffee.

            “So Mr. Potter.” Harry froze coffee cup half way to his mouth. Quickly he cleared his throat.

            “Yes?”

            “What brings you and the lovely Hermione our way?”

            “Well we were in Gotham, but Hermione wants to take time traveling the country seeing the family.”

            “A noble endeavor, and your intentions for our little winter queen?”

            “Intentions?”

            “ You share a hotel room with her, as my Sarah tells it a bed too.” Jareth regarded him with a raised brow, those otherworldly mismatched eyes judging. Harry sputtered, and could feel himself turning red.

            “It’s not like that. We don’t sleep well without each other. Not after the war.” Harry somehow managed to not choke on his own words.

            “Jareth!” Sarah snapped, the two women had tuned into the conversation. “I told you not to bother him over it. Their relationship, however complicated or simple is their relationship.”

            “It’s not.” Jareth began the magic choking the room.

            “Any of our business, all we can do is offer support… and threaten eternal torment if needed.” Harry gulped, as Hermione patted his hand.

            “You stick your nose in to Isabella’s relationships all the time.”

            “She makes bad choices.” Sarah turned back to Hermione “Have you visited Bella?”

            “We are not stopping there on this trip. We got into a tiff over what is fiction and what is delusion and what is artistic license the last time we saw each other.”

            “That’s right. Is she talking to you yet?”

            “She never has to talk to me again for all I care.” Hermione snapped, stirring her coffee harder than she needed to. Harry listened as they dissolved back into family gossip.

            “You know seeing this suddenly puts it all into perspective.”

            “What does?”

            “Hermione knew nearly everything that was going in in the castle when we were in school. She knew who most people were, who they happened to be dating at the time, what the latest drama was. I could barely keep up with who was in the same year as us.”

            “You will find that the gossip is how the family, as wide and expanded as it is, keeps tabs on everyone. They all participate regardless of gender or age. Hermione is gathering information that she will pass onto other relatives, who in turn will add to that information as they pass it on again. It is like a living version of tumblr.” Jareth smiled. Harry privately wondered what Tumblr was.

            Harry nodded “That does make sense.”

            “Just so you know. If you do, do anything to hurt her I will make you run the labyrinth until you expire and then trap your spirit there. Sarah will help me.” He continued in a very low voice, Harry saw Sarah’s eyes gleam with promised torment in agreement when he looked over at her.

            “Harry what’s wrong? You just went pale.”

            “I suddenly don’t feel well, do you mind if we call it a night?”

            “Of course.” Hermione smiled.


End file.
